So Mistrust and Timorous ran down the hill, and Christian went on his way. But
thinking again of what he had heard from the men, he felt in his bosom for his
roll, that he might read therein and be comforted; but he felt, and found it
not. Then was Christian in great distress, and knew not what to do; for he
wanted that which used to relieve him, and that which should have been his pass
into the celestial city. Here, therefore, he began to be much perplexed, and
knew not what to do. At last he bethought himself that he had slept in the
arbor that is on the side of the hill; and falling down upon his knees, he
asked God forgiveness for that foolish act, and then went back to look for his
roll. But all the way he went back, who can sufficiently set forth the sorrow
of Christian’s heart? Sometimes he sighed, sometimes he wept, and oftentimes he
chid himself for being so foolish to fall asleep in that place, which was
erected only for a little refreshment from his weariness. Thus, therefore, he
went back, carefully looking on this side and on that, all the way as he went,
if happily he might find his roll, that had been his comfort so many times in
his journey. He went thus till he came again in sight of the arbor where he sat
and slept; but that sight renewed his sorrow the more, by bringing again, even
afresh, his evil of sleeping unto his mind. Thus, therefore, he now went on, bewailing his sinful sleep, saying, O wretched
man that I am, that I should sleep in the daytime! that I should sleep in the
midst of difficulty! that I should so indulge the flesh as to use that rest for
ease to my flesh which the Lord of the hill hath erected only for the relief of
the spirits of pilgrims! How many steps have I taken in vain! Thus it happened
to Israel; for their sin they were sent back again by the way of the Red Sea;
and I am made to tread those steps with sorrow, which I might have trod with
delight, had it not been for this sinful sleep. How far might I have been on my
way by this time! I am made to tread those steps thrice over, which I needed
not to have trod but once: yea, now also I am like to be benighted, for the day
is almost spent. O that I had not slept!
Now by this time
he was come to the arbor again, where for a while he sat down and wept; but at
last, (as Providence would have it,) looking sorrowfully down under the settle,
there he espied his roll, the which he with trembling and haste catched up, and
put it into his bosom. But who can tell how joyful this man was when he had
gotten his roll again? For this roll was the assurance of his life, and
acceptance at the desired haven. Therefore he laid it up in his bosom, gave
thanks to God for directing his eye to the place where it lay, and with joy and
tears betook himself again to his journey. But O how nimbly did he go up the
rest of the hill! Yet before he got up, the sun went down upon Christian; and
this made him again recall the vanity of his sleeping to his remembrance; and
thus he again began to condole with himself: Oh thou sinful sleep! how for thy
sake am I like to be benighted in my journey! I must walk without the sun,
darkness must cover the path of my feet, and I must hear the noise of the
doleful creatures, because of my sinful sleep! Now also he remembered the story
that Mistrust and Timorous told him of, how they were frighted with the sight
of the lions. Then said Christian to himself again, These beasts range in the
night for their prey; and if they should meet with me in the dark, how should I
shift them? how should I escape being by them torn in pieces? Thus he went on
his way.
