I then saw
in my dream, that they went on until they came into a certain country
whose air naturally tended to make one drowsy, if he came a stranger into it.
And here Hopeful began to be very dull, and heavy to sleep: wherefore he said
unto Christian, I do now begin to grow so drowsy that I can scarcely hold open
mine eyes; let us lie down here, and take one nap.
Christian: By no means, said the other; lest, sleeping, we
never awake more.
Hopeful: Why, my brother? sleep is sweet to the laboring
man; we may be refreshed, if we take a nap.
Christian: Do you not remember that one of the shepherds bid
us beware of the Enchanted Ground? He meant by that, that we should beware of
sleeping; wherefore “let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be
sober.”
Hopeful: I acknowledge myself in a fault; and had I been
here alone, I had by sleeping run the danger of death. I see it is true that
the wise man saith, “Two are better than one.” Hitherto hath thy company been my
mercy; and thou shalt have a good reward for thy labor.
Christian: Now, then, said Christian, to prevent drowsiness
in this place, let us fall into good discourse.
Hopeful: With all my heart, said the other.
Christian: Where shall we begin?
Hopeful: Where God began with us. But do you begin, if you
please.
Christian: I will sing you first this song:
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“When saints do sleepy grow, let them come hither,
And hear how these two pilgrims talk together;
Yea, let them learn of them in any wise,
Thus to keep ope their drowsy, slumb’ring eyes.
Saints’ fellowship, if it be managed well,
Keeps them awake, and that in spite of hell.”
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Then Christian began, and said, I will ask you a question.
How came you to think at first of doing what you do now?
Hopeful: Do you mean, how came I at first to look after the
good of my soul?
Christian: Yes, that is my meaning.
Hopeful: I continued a great while in the delight of those
things which were seen and sold at our fair; things which I believe now would
have, had I continued in them still, drowned me in perdition and destruction.
Christian: What things were they?
Hopeful: All the treasures and riches of the world. Also I
delighted much in rioting, reveling, drinking, swearing, lying, uncleanness,
Sabbath-breaking, and what not, that tended to destroy the soul. But I found at
last, by hearing and considering of things that are divine, which, indeed, I
heard of you, as also of beloved Faithful, that was put to death for his faith
and good living in Vanity Fair, that the end of these things is death, and that for these things’ sake, the wrath of God cometh upon the children of
disobedience.
Christian: And did you presently fall under the power of
this conviction?
Hopeful: No, I was not willing presently to know the evil of
sin, nor the damnation that follows upon the commission of it; but endeavored,
when my mind at first began to be shaken with the word, to shut mine eyes
against the light thereof.
Christian: But what was the cause of your carrying of it
thus to the first workings of God’s blessed Spirit upon you?
Hopeful: The causes were, 1. I was ignorant that this was
the work of God upon me. I never thought that by awakenings for sin, God at
first begins the conversion of a sinner. 2. Sin was yet very sweet to my flesh,
and I was loth to leave it. 3. I could not tell how to part with mine old
companions, their presence and actions were so desirable unto me. 4. The hours
in which convictions were upon me, were such troublesome and such
heart-affrighting hours, that I could not bear, no not so much as the
remembrance of them upon my heart.
Christian: Then, as it seems, sometimes you got rid of your
trouble?
Hopeful: Yes, verily, but it would come into my mind again;
and then I should be as bad, nay, worse than I was before.
Christian: Why, what was it that brought your sins to mind
again?
Hopeful: Many things; as,
1. If I did but meet a good man in the streets; or,
2. If I have heard any read in the Bible; or,
3. If mine head did begin to ache; or,
4. If I were told that some of my neighbors were sick; or,
5. If I heard the bell toll for some that were dead; or,
6. If I thought of dying myself; or,
7. If I heard that sudden death happened to others.
8. But especially when I thought of myself, that I must
quickly come to judgment.
Christian: And could you at any time, with ease, get off the
guilt of sin, when by any of these ways it came upon you?
Hopeful: No, not I; for then they got faster hold of my
conscience; and then, if I did but think of going back to sin, (though my mind
was turned against it,) it would be double torment to me.
Christian: And how did you do then?
Hopeful: I thought I must endeavor to mend my life; for
else, thought I, I am sure to be damned.
Christian: And did you endeavor to mend?
Hopeful: Yes, and fled from, not only my sins, but sinful
company too, and betook me to religious duties, as praying, reading, weeping
for sin, speaking truth to my neighbors, etc. These things did I, with many
others, too much here to relate.
Christian: And did you think yourself well then?
Hopeful: Yes, for a while; but at the last my trouble came
tumbling upon me again, and that over the neck of all my reformations.
Christian: How came that about, since you were now reformed?
Hopeful: There were several things brought it upon me,
especially such sayings as these: “All our righteousnesses are as filthy rags.”
“By
the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.” “When ye have done all these
things, say, We are unprofitable,” with many more such like. From
whence I began to reason with myself thus: If all my righteousnesses are as
filthy rags; if by the deeds of the law no man can be justified; and if, when
we have done all, we are yet unprofitable, then is it but a folly to think of
heaven by the law. I farther thought thus: If a man runs a hundred pounds into
the shopkeeper’s debt, and after that shall pay for all that he shall fetch;
yet if his old debt stands still in the book uncrossed, the shopkeeper may sue
him for it, and cast him into prison, till he shall pay the debt.
Christian: Well, and how did you apply this to yourself?
Hopeful: Why, I thought thus with myself: I have by my sins
run a great way into God’s book, and my now reforming will not pay off that
score; therefore I should think still, under all my present amendments, But how
shall I be freed from that damnation that I brought myself in danger of by my
former transgressions?
Christian: A very good application: but pray go on.
Hopeful: Another thing that hath troubled me ever since my
late amendments, is, that if I look narrowly into the best of what I do now, I
still see sin, new sin, mixing itself with the best of that I do; so that now I
am forced to conclude, that notwithstanding my former fond conceits of myself
and duties, I have committed sin enough in one day to send me to hell, though
my former life had been faultless.
